I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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