I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We just shotgunned beers for America
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
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If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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