My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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