"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
