at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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