my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
