Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
