so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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