Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
