she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
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dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
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I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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