Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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