So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
