There is no way he is gay with that hair.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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