that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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