I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
