every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
