Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
