New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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