did you get engaged???
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
