I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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