Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
