you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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