Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
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Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag