I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
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Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...