Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..