Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole

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(402): View more from Nebraska

The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(208): View more from Idaho

make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.

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(815): View more from Illinois

thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.

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(703): View more from Virginia

But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.

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(253): View more from Washington

my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman

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(602): View more from Arizona

why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan

(712): View more from Iowa

the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?

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