This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
