the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
