Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
