We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
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I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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