After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
