I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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