just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Please, let me fuck your mom
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
