i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
whose parrot is this?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
