I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
