We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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