i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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