I'm going to jail i love you
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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