I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he puts the penis in happiness.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
