i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
