the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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