4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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