what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm passing your future prison.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
