She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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