I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
