Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
