You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Rumble strips road head = magical
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
