dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Everclear isn't food dammit
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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