Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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