Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish you could order shots online.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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