Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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