Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
