My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
