i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize