best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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