Sry I called you an 8
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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