yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
