I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
