His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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