I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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