he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
