how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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