I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
