well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
